The Plan
by rainbowrainingkitten
Summary: Hermione and Ginny hatch a plan to abolish Cho and Lavender from Harry and Ron's private lives...however, it doesn't go as planned. AU, H/G, R/HR
1. The Crow and Lavatory

**Important: This story is set in Half Blood Prince. It is AU -in my story, Harry never broke up with Cho in Order of the Phoenix because Marietta Edgecombe does not exist. I imagine that instead it was Dobby, by accident - forced by Veritaserum from Umbridge. Therefore Harry is STILL DATING CHO! Everything else is canon. Including Harry doesn't fancy Cho any more and instead is enamoured with Ginny.**

Harry James Potter is the biggest prat I have ever met in my entire life.

Immediately you think I'm Ginny, because there's no way _Hermione _could think anyone other than Ron was the most accomplished prat in the world.

I know I'm not beautiful; gorgeous; lavishly gifted with extreme physical attraction; I'm not even pretty. But once, I thought Ron might have looked past that and maybe...seen...something more than bookish, frumpy Hermione. I hoped. I know now that he doesn't - he has Lavender. Stupid, annoying, frustrating, irritating, malevolent bimbo Lavender.

Ginny is probably the opposite of me. She's just strikingly beautiful. Stunning vermillion locks that topple down her shoulders with poise and defiance, somehow, that challenge of _you think you can take _me _on? _Scorching topaz eyes, rimmed with nutty hazel and glistening with mahogany.

I _know _Harry fancies her. More than that, probably. I see the way he looks at her.

So _why _won't he act on it? Why is he still with Cho? Ginny's everything he's ever wanted and the stupid git doesn't realise it.

I pull myself from my musings and slam my carnelian-red stitched diary shut before prying eyes reach their destination. Unsurprisingly, the draught it causes with the sheer intensity of yanking down the cover causes my favourite robins' egg blue quill to oblige with gravity and it slices through the air and clatters on the floor.

As I quickly (and lazily) use a Summoning Charm, I spot Ginny with narrowed eyes and a sour expression, glaring darkly at - who else? - Ron and Harry, who are chatting animatedly with earnest expressions and eager vigour.

I hurry over to her before a Bat-Bogey makes its mark and quietly take the plush ruby seat next to her, disgruntled at the feeling of crushed velvet stirring under my skirt as the coarse black material of the latter blends enthusiastically with the rough crimson fabric.

'Ginny,' I murmur exasperatedly, 'Ginny!'

Her head snaps up and dark cinnabar waves whip through the air involuntarily. Her furious bronze orbs are flashing avidly. 'Um...oh, hi Hermione.' She speaks awkwardly, as though a child caught eavesdropping, her fingers caressing the table brutally, polished nails glimmering with dazzling elegance as the glossy sheen catches my eye.

'Are you...okay?' I question her softly, jerking my head subtly at the two boys swapping secrets as though gossiping grannies. 'You look a bit...'

'Pissed off?' she suggests wistfully. 'I am, I suppose.'

'Harry troubles?' I inquire wickedly, and she manages a half-hearted tug at the lips.

'I told you, Hermione, I don't fancy Harry anymore.' she fibs innocently, thrusting me a sweet smile.

'Don't lie to me, Ginny Weasley,' I scold her teasingly, 'I've had to endure years of Harry and Ron's tricks and stupid ways of getting themselves into trouble. I can tell when people are fibbing. And that was a big fat lie.'

'How _does_ a girl go about getting over _Harry_?' she bursts out despairingly. 'I've tried everything! I've even put up with Dean slobbering over me with his rotten-fish and mouldy-eggs breath, but every time I see him with that Ravenclaw harpy I feel like...like...I don't know!'

'What about feminism?' I remind her enthusiastically. 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.'

'What's a bissy-cell?' Ginny asks blankly, staring at me in amusing confusion, distracted momentarily from Harry.

'It's a Muggle thing, never mind.' I brush it off hastily. 'How about this - a woman needs a man like a fish needs a wand.'

'Why would a fish need a wand?' Ginny starts laughing scornfully. 'But why a fish, anyway? Why not...a Hippogriff?'

'Because it's a Muggle saying and Muggles are different!' I interject impatiently. 'The point is, you don't need Harry.'

'Oh right,' Ginny retorts sharply, 'like you don't need Ron?'

'Why bring Ron into this?' I respond suspiciously although I can feel my cheeks aflame and imagine they're already a startling shade of cerise.

'You fancy him.' says Ginny, matter-of-factly. 'Anyway, what are we going to do about Lav-Lav and The Crow?'

'We aren't going to do anything.' I reply shakily. 'And I do not fancy Ron.'

'Yes you do.'

'No I don't.'

'Yes you do.'

'No I don't.'

'Yes you do.'

'No I don't.'

'Yes you do.'

'No I-'

'Yes you DO!'

'I do NOT!'

'If I can admit to being head-over-heels for Harry, you can at least admit you fancy Ron.'

I glare at her, half-angry half-relieved there's someone I can talk to.

'...and now The Crow's got him! Oooh, I just _know_ it was her who snitched to Umbridge!'

'It couldn't have been, Ginny - she'd have got boils and acne splashed across her face.'

'It would be like her, though, wouldn't it? I bet she only joined the DA to suck up to Harry.'

'Most probably.'

'And precious little Lav-Lav, too. You know, when Ron got poisoned she said to me "can you leave us alone, I want some time with my boyfriend". Can you believe that? I'm the one who had to put up with his bloody habits until I was ten, and even then in the holidays when he got home from school, boasting about how great it was and how Harry Potter was his best friend and blah blah blah!'

'We can't do anything, Ginny,' I admit with a despondent sigh. 'They fancy who they fancy.'

'You're right,' Ginny nods sadly, 'but at least Ron's obsessed with you.'

'Harry considers you a best friend.' I tell her warmly, attempting (unsuccessfully) to steer the conversation away from Ron. I know he has no un-platonic feelings for me.

'Look at us!' Ginny exclaims suddenly, indignantly. 'We're going all soppy over a pair of prats! You're right, Hermione! A woman needs a bissy-cell like a fish needs a man! We do NOT need Ron nor Harry to be strong!'

I decide not to correct her "fish and bicycle" statement and agree enthusiastically. She's right. I don't need Ron Weasley. Ginny doesn't need Harry. We're fine.

I hate Lavender Brown.

It's a couple of days since mine and Ginny's feminist outcry, and I've found myself hanging around with her more than usual. A few small, wistful sighs have escaped from both our lips, but mostly irate outbursts upon seeing Ron and Lavender's frequent and intense snogging sessions and a few liplock encounters with The Crow and Harry. (Upon which I had to confiscate Ginny's wand to prevent a vicious and fatal attack on Cho).

'Hermione,' Ginny says absently, as she fumbles inside her schoolbag for her Charms textbook. 'Do you think...maybe Harry _loves_ Cho?'

'No.' I tell her honestly and quickly. 'Definitely not. You know...I don't even think he fancies her, really.'

'Why?' Ginny demands excitedly.

'I know Harry,' I explain truthfully, 'he's never happy any more - and he's always sending a certain girl mushy looks.'

'Who?' asks Ginny sharply. 'Is it Pavarti? I knew it would be Pavarti.'

I pull a sarcastic face at her, trying not to collapse in mirth, and grin when everything slots into place.

'Don't be silly, Hermione,' she says forcefully, 'if he liked me he'd be dating me and not The Crow.'

'Ginny,' I say, my voice quivering slightly, the amusement legible in my quavering tone. 'You know what Harry's like. He's probably scared of hurting her feelings.'

'Where were you when I was ten?' she chuckles ruefully. 'Nah, Hermione, we're just friends. He'll never like me in that way.'

'And you think he likes Cho?' I counter, my hands flying to my hips in defence and to strengthen my point. 'Really, Ginny. I was told you were clever.'

'Shut up.' she exclaims mock-angrily, scrabbling around on the pristine, immaculate crimson sofa for a pillow. 'Hermione, Ron's a bloody pain in the arse, so I don't know why I'm helping him. Probably 'cause the other person affected in my helping him is you, my best female friend. So for the love of Godric Gryffindor, would you just get together with my brother? Snog him, seduce him, do whatever you have to, but I'm telling you, stop denying that he fancies you like mad!'

'Be quiet, Ginny!' I hiss cuttingly. 'Everyone's going to hear you.'

'They'll thank me is what they'll do.' says Ginny confidently. 'Everyone in this room has been waiting about five years for you two to get your act together and snog.'

'I'll snog Ron when you snog Harry.' I smirk, satisfied. Ginny's got the courage of a lion but I highly doubt she'll go and kiss Harry when he's currently Cho's little pet.

'Okay.' Ginny replies with an evil grin, shell-pink lips pressed together to produce a heart shape. 'I'll do it. But first I have to surgically remove The Crow.'

'Not forgetting Lav-Lav.' I add before I can stop myself, the words tumbling involuntarily from my open mouth. 'She has to go too, before I...um...'

'Go and corner my brother in a closet?' Ginny suggests wickedly. 'Don't worry, Hermione. We'll think of something. But first...we need a little help from Fred and George.'

To Ginny's exaggerated triumph, a Hogsmeade visit has been scheduled for the afternoon, and I quite elatedly agree to go with her, especially if it means getting revenge on Lavender Brown.

'Oh my, I think I'm having a heavy influence on you, Hermione.' Ginny says delightedly when I inform her of my plans. 'A week ago, Hermione Granger would have fainted at the scandal of a few Puking Pastilles and Nosebleed Nougats.'

'It _is_ a bad idea,' I admit reluctantly, facing a disdainful Ginny, 'but...I mean...'

'The cow deserves it.' sums up my friend, and inwardly I curse myself for letting her read me so easily.

However, we have a rough time explaining to Harry and Ron why we can't join them in Hogsmeade.

'I can understand my baby sister not tagging along, that's a good thing,' Ron groans melodramatically, earning himself a subtle yet what can only be described as malevolent kick from Ginny, 'but Hermione, if you don't come I'll be stuck with Lavender and Harry'll be dragged off by Cho.'

'Not that he cares.' mutters Ginny grumpily, eyeing Harry disgustedly.

'She's your girlfriend, Ron,' I point out bitterly, my own dark russet eyes searching his own cyan, cobalt blue pools, 'if you don't like her, why go out with her?' It's a question I've been longing to bombard him with, and the mesmerising relief it grants me to spill out the sentence is captivating.

'Because she's a ruddy pain in the arse,' Ron retorts rudely, gesturing to his jabbering, gossipy girlfriend who is currently giggling and flirting ruthlessly with Cormac McLaggen, 'and I only got together with her because I haven't had a snog since-'

'-When Great-Auntie-Muriel slopped a juicy, ripe prune over your humble cheek - your first kiss.' Ginny smiles sweetly and flashes her brother an innocent smile. 'The point is, Ron, Hermione and I are going alone to Hogsmeade. So butt out and bog off.'

'Ginny!' Ron shrieks, agonised. 'Mum'll wash your mouth out with carbolic soap.'

'I don't care.' retorts his sister boldly. 'Bog off, Ronald Weasley before I Bat-Bogey hex you.'

Harry seems to materialise out of nowhere, ebony locks dishevelled and gravity-resistant as ever. He scrutinises the common room, as per usual, and sets eyes on Ginny. His piercing jade orbs have a glazed look cast over them before he suddenly snaps to attention and hurries over to meet us.

'Hi,' he says briefly, smiling at Ginny, who ceases her intense and dirty scowling at Ron to beam back before locking eyes with her brother and shooting him a livid glare.

'Hermione's going with Ginny to Hogsmeade!' blurts out Ron furiously. 'Leaving us dumped with Cho and Lav. What are we going to do now?'

'Uh, how about stopping your endless complaints about Lavender and being grateful for her presence?' Harry offers casually, eyes flickering over to Ginny and resting there, scanning her twisted, dark red tendrils dreamily.

'You don't even snog your girlfriend.' Ron fires back. 'Putting it bluntly, mate, I think you've gone off her.'

'I have.' murmurs Harry moodily. 'How about you and Hermione go to Hogsmeade together...and I could...um...uh...get to know Ginny.'

_Get to know her Merlin's saggy left buttock_! I silently muse with much amusement. More like get to know her lips.

I realise this is my chance to have something with Ron, not just awkward silences or wild bickering, and am about to accept when Lavender Brown comes bounding over with Cormac in tow, squealing happily.

'Wonnie!' she chirps ecstatically. 'Wonnie, there's a trip into Hogsmeade today! We could have a pwicnwic and I could make lots of yummy tarts!'

'You've already got enough tarts, Lavender dearest.' Ginny mutters under her breath, slamming her eyes shut from the obvious and rather vulgar amount of cleavage Lavender has decided to allow her shirt buttons to reveal. 'One, and I think it's such a big tart it's enough for everyone.'

Ron starts spluttering and his infectious laugh actually sets me going. A puzzled, bewildered Harry is over the moon when Ginny's lips caress his ear in order to alert him towards the remark she just uttered and its seconds before he gets going too.

'Whaaaaaaat?' wails Lavender tearfully. 'Why's everyone laughing, Wonnie? I don't like it!'

'Nothing.' says Ginny innocently. 'We were discussing what kind of tarts you should take to this "pwicnic" of yours.'

'I was thinking of an apple tart.' Lavender says irritably, annoyed. 'Why?'

'Better go and dress up in red, Lavatory dear.' Ron whispers and Harry snorts with laughter, so much so that Ginny has to place a gentle hand on his retreating back which causes his cheeks to erupt in carnelian flames.

'Come NOW, Wonnie!' instructs Lavender, irate. 'Shut up Potter, and you _Goody-Goody Granger_.'

'Oi.' Ginny growls. 'You might have romanced my idiotic brother but you aren't fooling me. So shut up and leave Hermione alone. And Harry. At least she's not a brainless bimbo.'

'Well neither is Wonnie!' shrieks Lavender in response, causing us to explode in a peal of laughter, and a very unhappy Lavender.

'Wonnie! Let's go get ready and leave these stupid buffoons here.' Lavender snaps, wrathful. 'I have no idea why you hang around with those snotty creeps. Pavarti says Potter can't dance for toffee, and your precious sister is nothing more than a...a...a redheaded freak!'

"Wonnie" is gone before he knows it, tugged savagely away by a barbaric Lavender, leaving Harry, Ginny and me to ponder.

'Ginny...' Harry starts, voice wobbling. 'I wondered if maybe...you'd...umm...like to...y'know...go to Hogsmeade with me?' he gabbles the last part like he's ingested a Babbling Beverage, and a thrilled Ginny turns to me, torn.

'I - I'm sorry, Harry,' she says regretfully, ignoring my frantic gestures for her to say yes, 'I promised Hermione, right, and we've arranged everything...I...I really am sorry, Harry.'

I watch, paralysed with angst and frustration as Harry's face falls; the glimmer in his eyes flashes past; mouth collapses; shreds of hope banished.

'It's fine.' he says quietly. 'I get it. Have fun. I um...I'll go and talk to Cho...See you.'

'Ginny Weasley!' I scold angrily. 'How could you do that? This is what you've been waiting for...for how long? I don't know, maybe six years!'

'It's not fair to you, Hermione,' Ginny says despondently, tone low and subdued, 'I arranged with you first. Besides, how would The Crow react to her boyfriend being stolen?'

'Ginny, I would be perfectly happy to stay in and read.' I claim truthfully, fingering the stitched harlequin hem of my thick, insulated woolly jumper. 'Harry would be so much happier with you.'

'Really, Hermione,' Ginny insists, 'he was asking me as friends. It's fine. Harry understands. Besides, Cho in a jealous rage would not be good, would it?'

'I suppose,' I admit regretfully, running a pallid, wrinkled finger across the damp, saliva-drenched ivory-enamel of my front teeth. 'Well, in any case, I'm glad I've got you. Ron seems perfectly content to be dragged off by Lavender.'

'We'll soon change that,' Ginny promises firmly. 'Just you wait, Hermione Granger. Just you wait...'

It's Ginny.

I wish Hermione would shut up about Harry. I know she feels guilty, but it isn't her fault. I just don't think I could stomach a whole afternoon pretending I'm not hopelessly in love with Harry with Harry himself. It's hard enough doing it every day, especially when Hermione's powers of deduction are pretty fantastic. Thus, you can deduce, I can't accept Harry's completely-platonic offer of a friendly meeting at Hogsmeade.

And I'm not leaving Hermione on her own. Especially with my brother being a prat. All my brothers are prats, by definition, but Ron's the worst. Probably came from being the baby of the family.

'C'mon, Hermione,' I tell her exasperatedly, 'if we don't hurry Fred and George are going to be overrun by a hoard of excitable yet irritating customers and Harry and Ron will be condemned to a life of The Crow and Lavatory.'

'I'm coming, hold your horses,' Hermione says impatiently, gathering together large piles of heavy, fresh-looking books with glossy covers splashed with cerulean, electric green, jade, crimson and chrome yellow. She heaves the large heap up and stuffs them into a heliotrope handbag.

'How the hell are you doing that?' I demand quizzically as the books shrink into the small bag and thump their way to the bottom. 'And why are you taking all those books? We're going to Hogsmeade, not the library.'

'I need to return these to Flourish and Blotts', and Madam Puddifoot from that ghastly teashop is good friends with the manager. She says she'll send the books to him free of charge if we buy a few cups of tea from her shop. She's not been getting many customers since Cedric...you know...the place creeps people out, you see.'

'Ewww,' I squirm, 'her tea tastes and smells like burned rubber. And that smouldering confetti she thrusts everywhere! I mean _everywhere_! I was picking torn and ripped rose petals out of my hair for practically weeks after Michael Corner forced me to accompany him there!'

'Sorry,' Hermione shrugs, 'I've spent all this week's pocket money. My parents won't send me another fifteen Galleons until two weeks later, because I blew most of this week's on promoting S - P - E - W.'

'I can always lend you some.' I offer immediately. 'Any excuse not to go into that awful teashop and be patronised by that awful woman.'

'It's fine,' Hermione objects quickly, 'I should really learn to be more handy with money. I had five Galleons left over after spending ten on badges, pens and notebooks for S - P - E - W. I spent all that on new books from Flourish and Blotts. I bought this biography on Bathilda Bagshot, I thought that might be an interesting read.'

I smile and we scurry out of the portrait hole and down the dusty corridors to find McGonagall before we leave for Hogsmeade. The rest of our house have already got there before us and our Head of House is giving everyone a stern, chastising talk.

'Stay together - at least in twos, all of you. Prefects may _not_ use their privileges as an excuse to journey alone - all of you keep an eye on the younger ones- and the more immature of your year. Mr. Filch will be accompanying you all to Hogsmeade to ensure your safety, and I have arranged for Professor Slughorn to keep watch throughout the village and anyone who is found alone, rest assured, will be punished severely, including a two months' detention and will have to write an essay of two thousand words on taking safety seriously.'

I grimace at Hermione but she's listening intently, eyes bright and looking at McGonagall as if she's the last copy of a "Hogwarts, A History" special edition - like she's amazing.

'Hermione, let's go,' I tug at her arm, 'we need to get to Fred and George before everyone else does.'

'Sorry, Ginny,' Hermione shakes her head hurriedly, 'I was thinking...do you think we're doing the right thing? I mean, what if Harry and Ron really do love Cho and Lavender?'

'You're crazy,' I tell her indignantly, 'the day my brother loves anyone other than you in the most disgusting way possible to me, his sister, is the day Voldemort announces he loves Muggleborns and decides to become a non-practising wizard.'

Hermione manages a weak smile. 'I hope you're right...'

We dash through the watery sunshine cast over Hogsmeade and are enveloped in a stretch of light kingfisher blue as we pass busy crowds and clusters of sixth years nibbling Honeydukes' Fizzing Whizzbees, fourth years toying with half-broken Zonko's products.

'Hurry,' I tell Hermione again, only to find she's stopped halfway down the street, eyes fixated on something, something that makes my blood run cold.

Cho Chang is standing behind the rusty metal walls of Zonko's. Her lips are wrapped around Michael Corner's.

Oh. My. Godric. Gryffindor.

She's cheating on Harry.

**A/N To be continued...next chapter very soon, most likely tomorrow! Please review, they are all very appreciated and I promise to reply to every single one as soon as I can. If you didn't understand why Cho was dating Harry still, scroll up and read the Author's Note at the top.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do, however, own some homework that I haven't done and don't plan on doing any time soon. If JKR wants to swap, I would be very happy. :)**


	2. Lunacies and Liplock Liars

'Holy half-bloods...'

It's Hermione again, yet I can barely even think at the moment, for I've just seen with my very own eyes Harry's girlfriend snogging yet another individual. And it's not Harry.

'Merlin...' I breathe, following Ginny's alliterate phrase, my eyes fixated on the embracing two, not knowing whether to be ecstatic for Ginny or horrified for Harry.

'Hermione, quick, get back!' Ginny hisses frantically, tugging my sleeve so that we fall back against Zonko's as Cho suddenly breaks off their unexpected intimate osculation and swivels round, silky ebony strands dancing against the coarse material of her thin, fashionable yet exaggeratedly vivid sunset-orange coat.

'Who's there?' The Crow calls, sounding alarmed and terrified as her nasal tone echoes around. 'Show yourself!'

Ginny swears, almost inaudibly, and starts to drag me further down the street at high-speed, but The Crow's got a Seeker's instincts and spots us immediately before yelling something inperceptible and running after us, her pallid features exploding in dark magenta. Her midnight-black hair follows her determinedly as Ginny swears once more, much louder this time, and starts dashing towards Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

'The Crow's a Seeker, Ginny,' I tell her slightly incoherentably. 'She'll catch us in no time!' I shriek hysterically as my foot sinks into a freezing puddle of transparent ice, crusted with dashings of spurts of jade grass.

'Have you forgotten, Hermione-' Ginny retorts breathlessly as we skid down the bleak, harlequin streets dangerously, 'that I'm a Chaser?'

I realise I'm out of breath already but Ginny's just getting started.

'Ginny - I - can't - run - much - faster - than - this!' I gasp, my voice escaping as an unhealthy rasp.

'Come on, Hermione, you can do it!' Ginny pants as her head snaps round to catch a glance of The Crow, still persistantly chasing after us fruitlessly.

'Ginny!' I cry desperately. My foot has got itself stuck in a large clump of damp mud. Mahogany drips all over my once-shiny black shoes, the glossy sheen vanished, and russet trickles all over the heels, furiously tugging down at me. I'm immobilised, and Ginny is torn between running and leaving me.

'Go!' I exclaim. 'Go, Ginny, I'm fine! Just RUN!'

But she doesn't listen and whips out her wand (I'm proud of her) before hurriedly casting a _Tergeo _charm on my shoes, which causes the mud to siphon away and leaving me with marginally dull charcoal leather and Cho gaining on us.

It's a tragedy that just as we begin to run again, Cho casts a _Petrificus Totalus _on us both. Ginny freezes, looking as comical as I know I must. If we were not paralysed, her expression would be twisted into that of somebody livid

'What did you two see?' demands The Crow, caustic rage beginning to take over. Of course, we're prevented from even twitching, so she hesitantly removes the charm and, to stop us taking off again, mutters an incomprehensible charm that creates a tight, rough woven rope to snake around our legs.

Ginny wastes no time in insulting Cho. 'You evil harpy!' she growls heatedly. 'How dare you chase two innocent Gryffindors halfway down Hogsmeade?'

'Innocent, eh?' Cho snorts scornfully. 'I'd hardly call you innocent, Weasley. I saw you gawping at me and Micky. Well, listen here. It's none of your business what I do in my own time.'

'Shut up.' Ginny tries to yank her leg free, causing herself to yelp in pain as the rope tightens cruelly. 'Harry is one of my best friends. I think I'll make it my business to let him know when his so called girlfriend is nothing more than a serial snogger.'

'I like Harry, a lot,' says The Crow snottily, snatching Ginny's wand before she can _Diffindo _the malevolent, turbulent rope. 'But I like Micky too. And of course, Thomas is pretty fine. Except he's always falling over for you, Weasley. And Granger here has comandeered your dimwitted brother so he's practically eating out of her hand.'

'Ron and I are just friends!' I snarl, unable to keep quiet. 'And how could you do that to Harry?'

'Simple.' The Crow answers maliciously. 'No conscience.'

'We already knew that.' Ginny fires back, struggling even more rapidly. 'But you've gone too far with Harry. Don't even bother threatening us, Chang. I'm telling Harry as soon as we get back.'

'I wasn't going to threaten you.' Cho scoffs, derisive laughter chilling me to the bone. 'Don't be stupid. I'm not unintelligent, Weasley. I was only going to say...do you _really _think Harry would ever go out with an ugly, wild mess like _you_? All mouth, no brains.'

'Be quiet, Cho.' I say angrily. 'Ginny, don't listen to her. You know she's lying.'

Ginny's glaring at The Crow with such irate enthusiasm I'm surprised she hasn't burned through her face.

'The only reason you want to tell him is because you love him, isn't it? That's so pathetic it's hilarious!' The Crow bursts out laughing. Her shrill cackles pierce my ears and I want nothing more than to hex her right now.

'You _are _pathetic, Weasley,' The Crow repeats. 'As if Harry would _ever _like a ginger minger like you. Why don't you just bog off to limbo and stop dogging my boyfriend.'

'He is _not _your boyfriend.' yells Ginny, and I'm filled with a vindictive ecstasy to see the flames blazing in her eyes. 'He's _my _best friend, and if you think for one minute, Cho Chang, that I'm going to let you stand there and act as if you're an omnipotent _bitch_, you thought wrong! So keep your wand ready, because when the Harry Potter Fan Club find out you've been cheating on their object of obsession, you're going to need it.'

'And for the record, Cho,' I add, unable to stop myself, 'I know that you Imperiused Dobby to snitch on the DA. The only reason you didn't get splashed with boils is because the binding magic doesn't cover blackmail. But I assure you, the next time you try and betray whom thought you were their friend, be ready to look like a walking bilboard for a before-and-after anti-spot cream.'

'Either untie us,' Ginny threatens, 'or I blab to McGonagall about your little cupboard session with "Micky".'

A crestfallen, shocked looking Crow raises her wand and removes the rope. Triumphant, a victorious Ginny grabs her wand, and can't resist using a Bat-Bogey Hex on her rival.

* * *

><p>'I can't do it, Hermione.' Ginny groans in angst. 'It all seemed so easy, bellowing at The Crow that I was going to spill her dirty little secret, but when it comes to upsetting Harry, I can't follow through, even if it's for the right reasons.'<p>

'Yes you can,' I insist soothingly, 'you need to do this, Ginny. It's crucial. What would Harry say if he found out for himself and then discovers you knew all along and said nothing? He'd be devestated!'

'He's going to be anyway!' Ginny counters miserably. 'His girlfriend is cheating on him!'

'I think he's going to be relieved, personally,' I reply, and a ghost of a smile is shadowed across my solemn face. 'He's put off snogging The Crow for weeks, and he's always gazing at you with a really soppy, dopey load of mush.'

'Didn't we already have this conversation? The point is, Hermione, why can't _you _do it?'

'I could,' I answer, nodding vigorously, 'but don't you want to be there to help him? He'll let you in, Ginny. You understand what he's going through with Tom Riddle, and well...when there's someone you love, you'll do anything for them.'

Ginny's expression softens, and I see a glimmer legible in her dark topaz orbs, and know she's thinking of Harry.

'I'd do anything for him.' she says, face creased with affection. 'He's always on my mind...I'm going crazy about him lately...'

'He's got something special...' I add mischiveously.

'I think I'm really falling for his smile...' Ginny adds wistfully.

Suddenly an image of Ron is broadcasted inside my musings, and I discover I'm thinking about him as Ginny compliments Harry.

'Sparks are really flying at Hogwarts, aren't they?' teases Ginny, with a knowing expression plastered across her face, and I know that she knows.

'He's the one for you,' I promise, and it's corny as ever but as true as Harry's love for treacle tart.

* * *

><p>I'm leaving Charms, the last lesson before lunch, with a delirious smile plastered across my face; Ginny's finally going to get rid of The Crow. I've never told Ginny, but at the start of the year she had rather bluntly and rudely told me to stay the hell away from her boyfriend. In angry response, I had retorted I was not going to stay away from my best friend whatever she said, which had shut her up for a while. But now she's on Ginny's case.<p>

'What are you so happy about, Hermes?' Ron asks inquisitively. 'Is it 'cause Flitwick gave us extra homework?'

Harry chuckles appreciatively and I throw both of them glares. 'No, and don't call me Hermes. I'm not an owl.'

'Sorry,' says Ron automatically, 'but you always let _Vicky _get your name wrong, Hermi-o-ninny.'

'Oh for the love of Godric Gryffindor would you just shut up about Viktor!' I snap, losing my temper at last. 'Just because a boy actually took interest in me instead of you-'

'-For your information, I've never supported Viktor Krum-'

'-oh yeah, then why did you start squealing like a little girl when you saw him at the Quidditch Cup a few years back?'

'-because I didn't know he was going to steal my - my - my...'

'Your what?' I snarl impatiently. 'You just can't accept, Ronald, that I might actually want to spend time with people other than _you _all of the time.'

Ron immediately appears crestfallen and yet rather irritable, and a sharp, malevolent pang strikes my stomach brutally.

'Give it a rest,' Harry interjects grumpily. 'You two never stop, do you?'

'Sorry, sorry,' Ron says hastily. 'Anyway...how are things with Cho?'

I switch from glaring at the tactless troll that just said this to carefully scrutinising Harry's shadowed face.

'Well-' he says slowly '-the thing is, I...I kind of like someone else.'

I smirk triumphantly. 'Are you going to break it off with The Cr - I mean, Cho?'

'Yeah.' he says quickly. 'But...I don't know how.'

'Wait a minute!' Ron interrupts hurriedly. 'Who does Harry like now?'

I've been awaiting this question from Ron, and scowl at him inwardly, watching Harry whose cheeks begin to rouge, fireworks of crimson bursting through the pallid skin.

'Somebody.' answers Harry, scanning around the room thoroughly. 'Just a girl.'

'Gryffindor?' demands Ron, his scowl ebbing away and it is suddenly replenished with a teasing grin.

'Yeah...' murmurs Harry, his eyes glazing over.

'Our year?' requests Ron, as equally enthusiastically.

'No.' Harry replies, watching his best friend carefully. You can practically hear Ron's brain whirring in slow-motion, and I suppress a laugh.

'Harry can tell us _after _he's broken up with his current girlfriend.' I chime in forcefully. 'It's not really fair to her, is it?' Not that I care about The Crow after what she's put Ginny through, but what nobody wants is a full-scale row.

'But I want to know now!' Ron wails childishly. 'Is it Luna? You did take her to the _Snail Club_.'

'Slug Club.' I correct him irritably, as Harry immediately retorts with a firm 'No.'

'Is it...' Ron pauses to contemplate who it could be. 'I dunno...year below or year above?'

'That's enough, Ron.' I chastise harshly, concerned he might figure it out and blab it to the whole school. 'Harry can tell you later.'

'Fine.' grumbles Ron, disgruntled. 'Come on, Hermes -I mean _Hermione_. Let's let Harry go and find Cho.'

I'm surprised at the unexpected sensitivity he's just shown. I suppose you never know what people have up their sleeves...

Ron drags me down countless corridors, which is rather irritating, before tugging me right outside, where a dying chrome-yellow sun is burning the innocent cyan stretch above. The blades of emerald grass are heavy with dew and a sticky solution rubs against the thin, flexible fabric of my tights, seeping through to dampen my legs.

'I'm sorry I was an insensitive, thick idiot.' he mumbles, flushing carnation-pink.

'It's okay,' I can barely counter with the shock of Ron apologising, 'but it's Harry you should say sorry to.'

'Not about Cho.' Ron sighs exasperatedly. 'About...about Lavender.'

_Lavatory, _I think amusedly, and smile genuinely in response.

'It's fine, Ron, seriously.' I tell him warmly. 'But...I mean...why...'

'Why should it bother you?' Ron finishes sadly, and I want to shriek out, _it does_!

'I-well-it's-you...' I gabble. 'Ron, I-'

'I get it, Hermione. I just thought...'cause of me and Vicky...that maybe...perhaps you felt...the same way...'

'I do.' my tongue suddenly starts working of its own accord, and the sentence drips from my mouth and startles Ron.

'No...I don't think of you as a best friend, Hermione...not any more...'

'You don't?' I echo, uncertain. It's as if a heavy blow stuns me in the stomach, and I feel my own eyes boring into Ron's cerulean-blue ones. 'Ron, what about Lavat - I mean, Lavender?'

'I'll break up with her, honest.' he says quickly. 'I don't even know why I ever let her control me...God, Hermione, you're so beautiful...'

I stare at him in awe, and decide it's a travesty my lips are absent of his. They have been for far too long.

* * *

><p>I hate Cho Chang.<p>

It's not really a secret; practically everyone knows that I'm head-over-heels for Harry. Thus, they can probably devise that I loathe his girlfriend. But not just because she has Harry; because she's a controlling cow.

But I can't tell Harry. I can't. Every time I try, my head starts swimming with despondant thoughts, Harry's crushed expression, Ron's horrified glance, Hermione's unhappy, glazed face. I don't want The Crow on my back again, and I certainly don't want her posse of Ravenclaws taunting me.

I find myself sitting amongst the lukewarm spikes of electric-green grass, shadowed by a majestic oak tree and alone with my battling thoughts.

'Hello Ginny.'

Luna. I'd know that voice anywhere; dreamy and cool, with a touch of sweetness. Sure enough, a clump of milky-white blonde curls appear and a pair of misty, cornflower-crystal blue eyes fix onto me. A pair of oversized crimson radishes dangle from her ears delicately and a beautiful silver bracelet clasps to her wrist, a phrase clipped onto it: _I believe in Nargles_. Slightly odd, but that's Luna, and she's perfect the way she is.

'Hi, Luna.' I force a smile and try to ignore my musings on Harry. 'How are you?'

'I'm fine,' she says happily, her eyes flickering onto a passing, colourful butterfly. 'The question is, how are _you_?'

'I'm okay.' I lie innocently. 'I just felt like a bit of peace and quiet.'

'Okay.' Luna beams at me sincerely. 'I'll go, let you think for a while. Bye, Ginny.'

'Wait-' I exclaim immediately, as she starts to retreat back along the grounds. 'I could do with some company...if you'd like?'

'I'd love that.' she answers genuinely, and as quick as she left, Luna darts back over and settles herself on the grass. 'Oh my, Ginny. Your head's absolutely packed with Wrackspurts. Do you want me to order some Niggler urine? Daddy makes a fantastic Burlip juice with it, Wrackspurts hate the stuff. Just spray some on your head and they all leave-'

'That's fine, Luna.' I interject hurriedly. 'I'm sure the Wrackspurts will leave of their own accord sooner or later.'

'Really, Ginny.' Luna says serenely. 'I can't help if you don't tell me what you're worried about!'

'I'm not worried about anything.' I tell her untruthfully. 'I just needed to escape from The Crow...or should I say, the Liplock Liar.'

'She's been snogging Michael Corner.' Luna replies casually, and I gawp at her in shock.

'How do you know?'

'Cho's a Ravenclaw...so am I...' she says simply. 'And - well - the Nargles see _everything. _And I mean, _everything_.'

'How many boys?' I demand furiously, thinking of how poor Harry's been hoodwinked for not just one boy, for probably about twenty! The nerve of that - that - that _Crow_!

'Five.' Luna says solemnly. 'Michael, Ernie, Blaise, Draco and I think even Theodore Nott.'

'_Draco_?' I echo. 'But - she's a Ravenclaw! And I can't believe Ernie would do that to Harry, after how he stuck up for him when everyone was thinking he'd lied about what happened at the Ministry. I thought they were friends...'

Luna smiles wryly. 'Cho probably seduced him. With her high sexual activity rate - I'd assume that things get around, and Ernie _is _a teenage boy.'

'Cho and Harry haven't...oh...' I feel like Peakes has hit me with his Beater's bat - sick to the stomach and weak as anything...my stomach becomes weightless and floppy.

'No.' Luna says dreamily, a sleepy edge audible in her lazy tone. 'Harry would never do that. I've heard Cho in the Common Room with Marietta...she was saying she thought only _girls _were frigid.'

The relief that had flooded my body when she denies the theoretical possibility of Harry and Cho...being together in _that _way is abolished, and a burning hatred scorches my insides instead.

'_What_? How dare she say that about Harry! He's sixteen! He's...how dare she? What if she got pregnant? He's got all this Voldemort stuff going on, what would happen to the baby? And what if he's not ready! That stupid cow!'

'Don't worry, Ginny,' Luna advises me seriously, 'The Nargles may be annoying, but they are brilliant at matchmaking. I predict you and Harry will be engaging in an intimate activity involving the joining of your lips by the end of this week.'

Luna's almost never wrong. Almost.

'Luna, will you help me?' I ask desperately. 'I don't know how to tell Harry...'

'Of course I will, Ginny.' answers Luna kindly. 'I've got just the plan, but I need help from the Nargles, and perhaps a few Blibbering Humdingers might assist us...'

She skips off, absorbed in lunacies, and I stare at the oak and sigh.

Get ready, Crow. Your little secret's out.

A/N Let me know what you thought in a review, please :D I was initially planning on two chapters but it is evolving into three and maybe even four. Not a long term fic, however. Drop me a review please, and **a big thank you to all my reviewers.** I have replied to all my reviews and promise to do so in any future ones. Cheers! :)

**P.S. If The Crow seems too evil for you, it's because I always hated her for stealing Harry away from Ginny, and for picking Harry up and dropping him regarding Cedric's availability. **


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